How The Goblin King Stole Christmas
by Emerald The Lady Destiny
Summary: That's right, I'm back with my annual Christmas fic. This year it's a parody of the Grinch. Hope you enjoy it, and please R and R! Happy Holidays!


How the Goblin King Stole Christmas

Happy Holidays, everyone! That's right, I'm back again with a Christmas fic. It's become sort of a tradition for me, either doing one on my own or collaborating with friends. And every year I up the ante on pure insanity. Oh, and to just clear up a matter I was never able to in my last Christmas fic because the reviewer didn't leave an e-mail address...it -is- "God Bless us everyone", not "God Bless us all, everyone." I've read the book every year since I was ten. I know the line. Thank you.

Anyhow, hope you enjoy this story, and remember to review!

Disclaimer: The Labyrinth does not belong to me. Neither does "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" where I obviously filched this idea from.

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One Christmas in a place that not many know,

The Labyrinth, it was called,

Was having their Christmas snow.

Everyone in the Labyrinth loved Christmas a lot,

But the Goblin King,

Who lived in the castle beyond the Labyrinth,

Did not!

The Goblin King hated Christmas with all of his might,

Some say it was because his tights were too tight.

Or maybe because people made fun of his hair

Personally, he thought, it gave him a certain regal air.

Whatever the reason,

The hair or tights,

The Goblin King hated Christmas, with all of his might.

He yelled and he raved as his subjects got ready,

Decorating their houses, and getting little Santa hats for their teddy.

He screamed and he shouted as their stockings were hung,

And oh!

How he got mad, so very mad, as they sung.

"There must me something I can do!" cried he.

"I will not go through another year of it, not me!"

So the Goblin King sat on his throne and he thought.

He thought,

And he thought,

And he thought.

And finally it came to him, a most awful idea

The Goblin King got a terrible, awful idea!

"I've got it!" he shouted, as he sprang from his seat.

"A brilliant idea, no way it can be beat!"

And so he scoured his wardrobe,

To find the things to fit his needs.

He found thread and buttons,

And even a few sparkly crystal beads.

"There!" he said. "That is that."

The Goblin King had made a Santa Claus suit and a hat!

With a chuckle as he dressed, he felt all a-tingle.

"With this suit and this hat, I'll look just like Kris Kringle!"

But there was something missing,

And it gave him a slight fear.

"Ah, I know, I need a reindeer..."

But there were no reindeers to be found.

Did that stop the Goblin King?

Of course not! So he said,

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

So who did the Goblin King call?

A fox knight, a fairy, a door knocker on a wall?

No!

He called the Dwarf that was known as Higgle,

Or was it Hedgewort, Hogwart, or Hibble?

It was Hoggle, actually, though it slipped the King's mind.

So he called for the Dwarf, who was easy to find.

He told Hoggle what was to be,

All Hoggle said was "Cor."

And a muttering of "Why always me?"

So the King found a pair of fuzzy antlers that he thought apropos,

And a fuzzy red ball he put on Hoggle's nose.

Then!

He grabbed some sacks,

And a few boxes too.

And magicked a sleigh knowing just what to do.

And he hitched up poor Hoggle and told him to mush.

"But we must be quiet, so for goodness sake hush!"

And so they started through the Goblin City,

Which was all aglow with lights,

And looking very pretty.

Everything was quiet, there was nary a sound,

Except for Hoggle towing the Goblin King around.

They came to the first house on the lane,

All the while Hoggle was doubting his ruler was sane.

"This is our first stop," The King told the fake deer.

"I shall go in, you shall stay here."

The King climbed to the roof, and down the chimney he went,

Not accounting for getting stuck, his back bent.

But if Santa could do it, so could he,

Even if the King had put on a pound or three.

So he straightened himself out, with hardly a to-do,

And he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

Where the stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

And then the author chastised herself most grim.

For quoting the wrong poem, but at least she hadn't quoted Tiny Tim.

Then the King started stuffing the presents in his sack,

All the while hoping all this lifting wouldn't throw out his back.

He continued this from one house to another,

Stealing presents for mother, for Aunt Susie, for brother!

He took the Christmas food,

That was oh-so finger lickin.

Why that Goblin King, he even took the roast chicken!

Every house, every home, every home into which he could squirm.

He even took the presents for the little blue worm.

All the while with Hoggle straining and toiling,

With all that was happening set the Dwarf's blood to boiling.

But what could he do, when ordered by his King?

Even to do such a nasty, horrible thing.

So it continued, all through the night.

Amongst those pretty twinkling lights.

Before long the King had taken from every house,

From Ludo, to the Wiseman, to a Goblin who resembled a mouse.

Every corner he went, from the Firey Forest to glens filled with fog,

Though he gave a very wide berth to the Bog.

He stole all their presents, their food, even their trees!

He stole them all, he stole them with ease.

Just when Hoggle thought they might be through.

The Goblin King said "There is one other thing left to do."

Before Hoggle could blink, or ask what the King meant,

They were no longer in the Labyrinth, to another place they had been sent.

As the Goblin King shimmied down the chimney, Hoggle looked around.

And was shocked by what he found.

Though it was hard to tell, being on the roof,

He still thought that he had sufficient proof.

So the King started filling a sack with presents, the old louse,

From none other than Sarah William's house.

As he stuffed his sack with Christmas presents he felt something stir.

Something, he felt, when he thought about her.

And about how his world she did she did tilt.

Stealing her presents...was what he felt...guilt?

As he felt something stir again, he did scowl,

Until he heard a sound, like the soft hoot of an owl.

He glanced 'round the tree and to his surprise,

There was Sarah standing before him, right before his eyes!

He quickly ducked back, before she could see he was not that jolly old elf,

That it was him, the Goblin King himself.

"Santa?" Sarah queried, blinking once, not believing what she could see.

"Santa, oh why, are you taking our tree?"

That made the King pause, for a moment his stomach did jerk,

But soon his face was adorned with a smirk.

Oh yes, he was so quick and oh so cunning,

That he thought up a lie that was so very stunning.

"Why, my dear girl," The fake Santa Claus lied with wit.

"There's a light on one side that just won't stay lit.

So I'm taking it home to my workshop my pet,

I'll fix it up quick, so don't you fret."

The lie gave Sarah pause, but she accepted it in the end,

That her tree to Santa Claus she must send.

But before she would leave she had one final thing to say,

To the false Santa Claus who rather wished she'd go away.

"Santa, if you please, could I ask you one thing?

Please don't forget to visit the Goblin King.

For while he might have bullied and blustered and made others fear,

I still think he should get a nice Christmas present this year."

And with that, Sarah said good night and up to her bed she did betake,

Leaving a flabbergasted Goblin King in her wake.

Sarah wanted him to have a happy Christmas, but why?

He couldn't figure it out, and it made him sigh.

But he didn't let it stop him, he was too far gone to stop

So up the chimney Sarah's tree went, from its roots to its top!

It was nearly dawn,

And everyone a-bed.

Except for a King, and a Dwarf with antlers tied to his head.

Soon the people would wake, from their beds they would rise,

And oh, oh my, would they get a surprise.

No presents no stockings, nothing festive at all,

The Goblin King couldn't wait for their spirits to fall.

"I can't wait to hear it, their cries of despair! Now that, is a sound, that I simply must hear!"

So the King crept to the edge of the hill,

And cocked his head, his ears waiting to hear their fill.

But when he finally did hear, as his subjects did rise,

Did not sound at all like moans and like cries.

No, it wasn't sad at all, definitely not _sad_,

Why it sounded, yes, it sounded glad!

Every creature of the Labyrinth from Goblin to Fairy,

Were all holding hands, and singing, and sounding very merry!

This puzzled the King, as he listened some more,

He puzzled and thought, until his puzzler felt sore.

"It came without presents, without their feasts!

It came without baubles or trinkets or cute furry beasts!

How could it be, that they can still sing?

When in regards to presents, they haven't a thing?"

Hoggle spoke then, as he took off his antlers and red nose,

"Maybe Christmas, your Majesty, is not about things like those.

Maybe Christmas is about something deeper than that."

And Hoggle left him then, with a tip of his hat.

He left his king alone, his feet cold in the snow.

And do you know what happened then, do you know?

Well, the King had an epiphany, thought of something he hadn't before.

Maybe Hoggle was right, Christmas was about something more.

And he thought of the singing, of the togetherness that he wasn't part of,

He thought about kindness, forgiveness...and love.

And that maybe, just maybe, Kings can be wrong.

With a new resolve and his heart feeling light,

He grabbed the reins, and pushed himself the sleigh Hoggle had pushed all night.

He ran to the square, and with a smile so big people thought his face might crack,

He made his apologies, and gave all the presents back.

Oh!

What a day it was, so nice to say the least.

With all his subjects gathered in his castle for a feast.

They ate, and laughed at old Christmases reminiscing,

Still the Goblin King felt that something was missing.

His musings were cut short, his head went up with a snap,

As he felt, on his shoulder, a soft gentle tap.

Who was standing in front of him, have you guessed?

Why, it was Sarah, wearing her Christmas best.

"Sarah!" he said. "How did you get here?"

And Sarah replied. "I didn't wish myself away, if that was your fear.

A Certain dwarf brought back my tree and explained everything.

About how who I thought was Santa, was actually a certain King."

Feeling embarrassed, the King was about to admit he had been remiss,

But before he could, Sarah shocked him, by giving his cheek a soft kiss.

"I know that we were adversaries, when I wished my brother away,

But no one should be alone on Christmas Day.

Now let's not argue, and ruin this chance,

Who knows, perhaps, we can even share a Christmas dance."

And as Sarah smiled at him, his thoughts drifting to a certain ball,

He thought,

That perhaps,

Christmas wasn't bad at all.

And things changed that day, that day all did sing,

That forevermore Christmas was merry for the Goblin King.

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Let me just state right now, I have new-found respect for Dr. Seuss. Making a (checks page count) Ten page story all in rhyme is just about the hardest thing I've ever put myself through as a writer. Doing it for however many stories Dr. Seuss wrote? I can't even imagine.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this year's Christmas fic for you all, and remember...

"Please leave a contribution in the little review box"

Wait! You didn't think I was going to be able to get through a Christmas fic without adding something from my favorite Christmas book, are you?

And as Tiny Tim observed "God Bless us, everyone."

Merry Christmas!

Emerald, The Lady Destiny a.k.a. Emmy-chan


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